I Hate Your Blog

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."

This is going to be a blog about literature I don't like. That poem is one. I adore Lewis Carroll, and Alice is one of my favorite storybook heroines. She's very logical. I appreciate that. The world of Wonderland is a fantastical and bizarre creation, and the characters are rich and multi-dimensional (if extremely odd). But this poem depresses me for the simple, inescapable fact that they eat the oysters.

I also dislike the Brontes and Jane Austen. For the most part, Victorian literature is not my cup of tea, but especially that written by women. I expect men to have crappy female characters, but women! We have better things to do that simper and seek out husbands! Elizabeth Bennett might be my only exception to that rule, but all of Austen's other ladies are husband-hungry weaklings. And the Brontes! Jane Eyre is totally milquetoast, and Catherine Earnshaw is just heinous. There's some variety, at least, but none of it's good.

And while we're at it, I don't like The Catcher in the Rye. I don't identify with Holden Caulfield and I don't like how the book is written. He's a jerk and his way of talking, while quaintly conversational, belies the ignorance he carries around and even flaunts.

I love my friends, but sometimes I miss being around English majors. Lisa's friend Laura, who lives in Somerville, is an English person, and we share a mutual hatred of Noam Chomsky, who lives in the city. We went past his office, I think, and started going off about what a jerk he is. It was a thoroughly enjoyable conversation. Most of my friends (and Brandon's) are in the sciences, in some form or another--and I'm including computer science here--and it's rare that I can have a conversation like that.

So for those of you who don't care about my literary tastes, or the fact that Noam Chomsky is a phony (as Holden Caulfield would not-so-eloquently put it), thanks for reading anyway. The fact that you put up with me is why I like you.