WORST. BLOG. EVER.

I haven't updated in forever. I KNOW, I KNOW, I'M SORRY. So much momentous stuff has been happening with my uterus and my job and my life situation that this kind of slipped my mind; but, here is an attempt to catch up on everything that I've missed writing about over the last couple of weeks.

First, it's a boy! I have ultrasound photos that will inevitably end up on facebook or here or something, so if you want to see them just ask. There are some creepy 3D ones and some creepy regular ones and the baby has a giant head and ridiculously powerful legs. Seriously, he's been kicking me and it kind of hurts.

Second, he HAS been kicking like an MMA fighter, and today was the first time that Brandon actually felt it. That was cool, although I think it kind of freaked him out, because there is a tiny person in there KICKING ME. Painfully. Did I mention that?

In non-belly related news, Brandon's been getting some positive response to job applications, which include a couple of interviews. Still no idea where we're going to end up living. I think he would take a job here just to not have to move, and he's finding some more prospects in the area, so perhaps we can actually get comfortable. I'm already planning to take some time off to chill with the kid, and justifying it with the idea that the money we'll save on daycare will make up for the loss of my salary. Bazinga!

I've kind of usurped the nursery decorating role and decided on an outer space theme. Then even if it turns out that it IS a girl, it will be okay, because space is cool for everyone. I'm also trying to get my hands on some kid-friendly books and movies (Pixar FTW), because right now there isn't a whole lot I can do with it: we don't know if we're going to be here or elsewhere. So why decorate someplace you won't even be in when the kid pops out?

The baby is now approximately banana-sized, according to the baby-fruit comparison chart I found online. I don't know why that's considered even remotely accurate, because last week it was a cantaloupe and unless it's gotten reeeeeal skinny, I don't get the comparison. I guess it's length only. Who knows? I've also started medication for my blood pressure, which was abnormally high and is now appallingly normal. So that's a good change.

So that's what I've missed, and what you've missed if you don't read my facebook or talk to me. Now I'm going to go lie down.

I thought I lost this post, but it saved it!

Work has been absolutely insane the last couple of weeks, to the point of me getting home after 8pm several nights. Also, I hadn't been sick for over a week and this morning/ALL DAY I've been nauseated, vomiting, and experiencing other symptoms I'd rather not share. Anyway, what's the point of this post? No new data as far as the baby goes, and although my belly has popped out like Punxsutawney Phil on February 2, the only reason I'm posting is to give you my hypothesis about the gender of my impending spawn. So here goes:

I THINK...it's a girl.

I've compared lists of symptoms, and I will outline for you why I believe this.

1. Chinese Gender Calendar. This is something that's allegedly pretty accurate in determining your baby's gender--take a look at 22/November.

2. Morning sickness. Most symptom pages note that if you've had morning sickness (which good lord, I have) then it's likely a girl. Apparently boys are less likely to make you sick, and more likely to be active. I haven't felt any movement yet, so we can add that to the girl column.

3. Heart rate. Girls are allegedly above 140, and mine have been consistently high.

4. Cravings. All I've been craving is fruit. Boys are supposed to make you crave salt, and girls sweets and fruit. I haven't had any particular cravings for salty or sweet foods--just fruit.

5. Yeah, I actually tried this: hanging my wedding ring on a piece of dental floss (what? it was what I had handy at the time) resulted in back and forth motion rather than a circle. I don't know how that's at all reliable, but it's a girl symptom.

Most of the information I'm quoting comes from this site; I've seen places that say that if you're sick it's a boy, or if the ring moves in a circle it's a girl, so I don't know 100% that any of this is even remotely reliable. My guess would be no. But I wanted to put that out there so I can look back at it once the ultrasound comes back and see how accurate superstitions are.

Eventually, we'll need a crib or something

Things at work are less than awesome, so that's been taking up most of my brain space for the last week. I'm trying very hard to work on the things I need to work on and don't feel like I'm getting much out of my efforts. I don't want to end the year on a bad note, so I guess I'll just keep trying harder--although today I had to break a promise to my students; their grades aren't up to date because I can't get to the gradebook from home, apparently--and hope that something good comes of it.

This week was another checkup, mostly just having blood drawn and making sure that there is still a baby in there (there is). Heart rate is 156, my glucose and iron levels are about normal, and they're going to run the screens for birth defects. March 8 is when I learn if it's a boy or a girl. I'll scan or upload an ultrasound when I get it and be sure to let you know.

I'm also coming out of the morning sickness phase. It's gone back to the level it was in December--vomiting about once a week--with no daily nausea, which is so much more amazing than I ever would have appreciated before. I'm not feeling kicks or anything really yet, but hearing the heartbeat reminds me that there is a tiny little being in there whose heartbeat doesn't match mine. That's a weird feeling. My students are also starting to ask to touch my stomach, which I mind a lot less than I thought I would. Mostly they poke it and go "oh, that's weird!" or make a super-obvious comment like "there's a baby in there!" I really thought I would hate people wanting to touch my belly, but I don't. It's kind of funny.

The genius of elastic

I was doing so well until this evening...I've learned, basically, that I cannot go more than a couple of hours without eating or my body WILL rebel and make me throw up, and the fetus does not care where I am or what I'm doing.

I actually have a bump. I hate referring to it as such, given the disgusting "bump watch" mentality of celebrity tabloids, but I flatter myself to say that I have any measure of celebrity or that anyone is watching for my bump (save perhaps my students, who are all crazy). But it's there: the belly is poking out noticeably, and if you feel it, it doesn't smush in like it used to when the only thing in there was...well...fat. So today I bought a belly band, since some of my pants are fitting rather tightly. This whole situation is still weird to me.

We've been out of school for three days because of the snowstorm that hit this weekend, and it's been making me wish for summer break or the time that I can actually take a little bit of time off. Brandon went to the job fair today, and has some good prospects for possible employment in the near future. I don't know where we're going to end up, but as long as he has a job I'll go wherever. Although I wouldn't be thrilled about Detroit.

Fetus's First Snow

On a happy note, I think I'm coming out of the morning sickness phase. My stomach is noticeably larger by a little, and I haven't wanted to vomit constantly. Today was even pleasant--I did some laundry and dishes (though admittedly not much) and we went for a walk down to the grocery store in the snow.

We got about 5 inches of snow here, which was cool. It's all very pretty. We had to shovel off the driveway, but it's really nice to have snow. It might hang on into next week given how cold it will be the next few days, so we'll see if it affects work at all.

There really isn't much to say on the baby front until I go back to the doctor on the 11th, or something momentous happens. It isn't kicking or anything, as far as I can tell, so I think for now I'm going to enjoy my time indoors and watch Brandon finish playing through Uncharted 2.

"Your blog is a self-fulfilling prophecy." -Ginny Buckner

YEAH, I KNOW, but I was a lot more ready to have a baby BEFORE I got pregnant, OK?

So, happy Monday, everyone...it's the first day of my second trimester (allegedly), and I started it off with a--what's a good onomatopoeic indicator for vomit?--well, that's what it was, anyway. Which is NOT FAIR. This is supposed to end in week 13! And I fully, naively, expected to wake up this morning with no nausea, feeling good, if a little tired since I don't like mornings even when I'm not knocked up, and it didn't happen. What a drag.

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank those of you who are now following this thing for doing so, since it means I'm actually semi-motivated to update and much more conscientious about my whining. I'm going to try my best to be productively critical of the pregnancy process, such as asking why it's at all fair that women go through all this and guys are done when the fun part's over (and, yes, Brandon is doing a bang-up job of putting up with me through this process, but it's not a requirement for the entire male species to do so).

In closing: my baby looks like this right now.

13 Weeks Pregnant

It's about the size of a Nutter Butter.

A post that is mostly not uterus-related

This is the first morning I've woken up and not felt like I needed to vomit immediately, so YAY FOR THAT! However, I've picked up a nasty cough from somewhere (and who knows where; working in public school, you can't identify the source of any afflictions which cancels out feeling good about not puking.

The new semester starts on Tuesday, and I have Monday as a workday to create as many lesson plans as I can get done. If I can get a month's worth done, our next workday is February 15, and I can finish another month until spring break, and so on. This is not to say that these lesson plans will not change (they almost certainly will) but we're supposed to have them printed out and kept somewhere the principals can see them if they do a walkthrough, because hey, it's what you did in student teaching, so get back with it. For me this is not a problem, having done student teaching very recently, but many of the other teachers are not happy. I don't know if they even remember being in college. (That's not true. I love my coworkers, and I'm sure they all remember college, even if it was a long time ago.) Either way, there are a few plans I have for my classes, the most exciting of which is...

Teaching The Crucible using Battlestar Galactica.

Yes, I am a giant nerd.

This will work, though! All I have to do is get a copy of the game, take out the "You are a Cylon" cards, explain to the kids how it works, and have them determine at the end of, say, one FTL jump, who is the Cylon. And it will be no one. AND THEY WILL SEE HOW IT WAS IN SALEM. Only in space. With robots.

Also, if you missed it, go on Hulu and watch Conan O'Brien jamming with Billy Gibbons, Ben Harper, Beck, and Will Ferrell (on cowbell!) on the Tonight Show finale. That's the last Tonight Show I'll ever watch. In part because I have a really hard time staying awake that late, but mostly on principle--because Conan took it out with class, dignity, and everything I could have hoped for from such a crap situation.